Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Twins, ADHD, and the Battle Between the Two.

Well, as I have said I have twin girls that are now 9 yrs old.  They are in the 4th grade this year!!

They are fraternal twins.  Natalie has the fuller cheeks.  Gillian is on the left in the two bottom pics.  They are nothing alike.  Polar opposites of each other.  They have always been close though.  They fight a lot but I guess that's normal for any siblings.  Especially these two.  See there is a huge difference between these two sweet and beautiful little twinsies.  One has severe ADHD.  And a learning disability due to it.  It has been a nightmare.  Her sister makes straight A's and the other one just can't keep up with it all and is failing in one class and nearly failing another.  She is in the special needs program at her school.  They help her with things like extra time for work and taking her out of the regular classroom to go to a class room where it is just her and the special education teacher to help her catch up on work and help her with things she is having trouble understanding.  Luckily I think it's helping her out some.  

Natalie is the one with ADHD.  I just worry about her so much.  She lacks confidence sometimes because her sister gets all the awards at school and Natalie finally got one at the very end of last year for citizenship.  She has to visit her psychiatrist montly and that keeps her from attending school during those days.  She sees her sister do so well and everything coming so easy to her and meanwhile she struggles to read simple books.  She gets so frustrated and down on herself.  Around the house is another battle.  The way her little brain works 90 miles a minute just won't allow her to do most tasks when she is told.  She is constantly being distracted and singing and dancing all over the place.  Playing dress up instead of cleaning her room.  Then when reminded..she says "oh yeh, i'm so sorry mama" and gets back to it until the next distraction about 5 mins. later.  She also lies and blames things on her little 3 yr old sister trying to get out of trouble.  Discipline doesn't work.  It only makes her upset and down on herself.  She just doesn't ever seem to understand why she gets into trouble.  It's like her brain isn't registering it.  I get angry, my husband gets overwhelmingly angry, and she just feels like she is the "worst kid ever".  It brakes my heart.  And poor Gillian gets stuck picking up the slack after Natalie hasn't finished cleaning and has to go in and finish her chores.  And don't get me started on getting ready to go anywhere!!!!!  It is constant..Natalie get your shirt on, Natalie put on clean panties, Natalie that's the shirt you went to bed in, put on your clean school shirt that I laid out for you.  Natalie brush your teeth.  Yes baby I like that story too but you need to brush your teeth so you don't miss the bus.  Natalie do this. Natalie do that.

Sometimes I wonder if she honestly hates her sister for not having the same problem.  I just hope she grows out of this in the coming years and learns to cope with it better.  I love that kid to death.  She's my baby girl and always will be.  Full of kindness and compassion.  Always offering to help me with anything when she sees that I am in pain.  And she is GREAT with the 3 yr old, Sophie!!  She loves to play with her and includes her in everything that she does.  It's beautiful to watch.  It's my mission to help this kiddo out as much as I can.  I just have to keep telling myself and my husband that poor behaviors are not because she is a bad kid.  They are mostly because of her having this special little fast moving, creative little brain that she has.  Her ADHD is just one little part of Natalie and I love all the parts of Natalie as much as I love all the parts of all of my family.
Marching Band!!