Too Much Drama for This Mama!!!

I woke this morning with puffy eyes and a stuffed up nose.  Yep...classic side effects of a good hard cry the night before.  Last night I truly got my heart broken by the person I have called my best friend.  This all goes back to my post about my Halloween costume planning.  My friend, who I call Dazzle, has a huge blow out Halloween party every year.  She is the party queen.  She plans with diligence.  She spends lots of money on them.  She is selective on invites.  She is very precise about how she wants things done and goes all out..no holds barred..to make all of her party plans come to life exactly the way she wants them to.  After meeting her at her Christmas party last year, we developed a friendship.  A good one.  Telling each other our secrets and venting about our husbands and all.  We helped one another get through tough times with laughter.  She invited me to join her "elite group of friends" in their annual Redneck Diva Party earlier this summer.  Sure, I felt so good being invited.  I have not had many girlfriends in the past and I was thrilled that she wanted me to join their apparently very tight knotted group of gals.  We had fun and afterwards Dazzle and I just became closer and closer.  I loved having what I called a best friend, other than my husband and Mom for the first time in many, many years.

Back to the Halloween Party...Every year she has a theme for her "elite group of friends" to all coordinate their costumes to for the "big unveiling" at the beginning of each party.  This year it is The Wizard of Oz.  When she asked me to be the wicked witch of the east, I was so excited!!!  First of all, I don't get out much.  Not without the kids anyway.  We rarely go to parties.  I have chronic pain that keeps me home much of the time and we just aren't into finding babysitters to pawn our children off onto while we go out very much.  We love to sit and watch TV together as a family and my husband and I love our comfy house and time together and not spending money on parties and nights out too often.  Going to dinner means all 5 of us go to dinner!!  We are a family!  This Halloween party, however, was on the top of my To Do list for months!!

Yesterday, I went and bought all sorts of stuff for my costume and my husband's as she had asked him to be The Wizard.  I took pics and put them up on our group message for every one that was in the costume theme to see and let them know I was excited about putting it all together.  Well, quickly I was messaged via the group message and then via text that I my husband could not be Oz, that Dazzle's mother was going to be oz "don't you remember?"  One thing I had gotten for my hubby's costume was a wizard looking beard and mustache.  She told me "Oz, didn't have a beard anyway silly!!" "Maybe he could be a munchkin"  Well that all ticked me off a bit but whatever.  No biggie.  Then I told her about the things I had gotten for the girls as she had told them they could use her old costume pieces to dress up their Halloween costumes.  She even dressed them up herself when she told Nathan he needed to be Oz.  Face paint and all....the girls were so excited!!  So when I told her about the additional things I had gotten she said "well as long as we understand that you have to give the things back then it's ok".  This struck me as a bit of an accusation that I would not return her stuff.  I told her that I hoped that she knew that I would, of course, return her things in perfect condition and that the girls were just so excited about using them as she had told them to their faces that they were more than welcome and I appreciated her lending them to my girls.  Her reply was "That is fine, I have been screwed in the past on lending so now I'm straight up about the terms of the borrow."  Terms of the borrow??????  Excuse me, but I thought we were friends talking about a couple of kids wearing old pieces of costumes you had stuffed in your wardrobe closet, not a financial loan!!!!!!!!!  That just blew me to shreds.  I felt insulted.  I told her I would just handle the girl's costumes myself it was that big of a deal.  I felt like if something went wrong and her precious garments were not in perfect order upon return of borrow,  I may be arrested!!

 It just got messier from there.  She couldn't seem to understand why I felt insulted and hurt and I couldn't understand why she was being so snooty about a party and some costumes.  I'm just a very laid back person and I know she can be extremely uptight.  Her comments got more and more rude.  She said things like "I let you into my circle of friends and this is how you repay me?"  and "I don't need this sh*t".  She said that I had started putting my costume together way to late and everyone else had been planning theirs for months!

Well, I cried all night long over this crap.  I know this is all one sided and may seem silly and petty to you but I feel like I lost a friend last night and it hurts.  I realized the kind of person I need as a friend is not that kind of person.  It was a huge reality check for me and now I have to go do more shopping!!  LOL.  Anyway, it just all struck me as so silly for this to all be such a huge deal to her. It's just Halloween for crying out loud!!!  It's supposed to be fun!!!  Well she made it SCARY!!!

There's my rant...thanks for listening!!

Reuniting With Old Friends. Great Day!!

Back in the day, 13 years ago and pre children, my husband and I were young party animals.  We were everywhere everynight it seemed.  We had tons of friends that we would get together with at clubs and shows all the time.  Well as we all know, time passes, we grow from kids to adults and marry and start families.  Life happens!!

Yesterday we had been invited to a good friend's 40th birthday party.  Him and his wife are really awesome people and we went to show our love.  Now my husband had seen the birthday boy in the last year once or twice, but I had not seen these people in over 10 years!!  I knew there would be other old friends that I hadn't seen in that long as well.  We have all kept in touch on FB and some on Instagram but hadn't actually seen each other in a decade.  I was so excited!!  But once it came time for me to get myself and the 3 girls ready, I was terrified!!!  Butterflies in the stomach and all!!  I have terrible anxiety as it is and the thought of seeing these people face to face just put me in full on panic mode!  What do I wear?  Some of these people are all much more successful than we are!  They have all heard stories of our rocky times in the past.  What would they think of me? of my kids?  Well I said SCREW IT!!  I put on a pair of skinny jeans with tears in them and a Ramones tank top...one of my favorite outfits...and I was comfortable.  The kids dressed in their usual cute fashions and Nathan, well he looked just like he always does, casual and very handsome.  Off we went.

We had such a blast!!  Food was wonderful and there was beer and wine but no one got hammered.  So it wasn't a crazy, loudmouthed, stumbling atmosphere at all.  After all, we're all adults now, hitting 40 or quickly approaching with multiple children and a few wrinkles.  LOL.  I remember laughing so much.  It felt wonderful to be surrounded by these loving old friends and talking about our changing lives and mostly our children.

We left the party after promising each other that we would get together much more often and even plan ladies nights out and make the men watch the kids!!  Lord knows I need that!!  Anyway it was a wonderful time for everyone.  The kids had a blast and I am so glad that we went.  It's funny how nervous I was and how comfortable I was the moment I set foot in the door and was greeted with an abundance of hugs!!  Love these guys!!